Saturday, 27 June 2009
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I should be sleeping...
but I can't. The thoughts of all the events that happened today and running like race horses through my head. All of the ifs and but's are looming my thoughts about Hope and Rem. Rem learned his lesson not to kick his sister especially if she is holding a pitchfork. His foot will heal and the lesson will be remembered for a very long time.
On the other hand, there is Hope. She is a very smart two year old that is quiet and patient until she can get what she wants. She is strong willed and needy. She is so funny and I love her smile.... I am just so fearful that she won't make it to her 3rd birthday.
I was talking with a friend of mine on FB and I was asking her for advice on my little tornado. I brought up that Hope is going to sleep with her life vest on when we go to Indiana since we will be staying right next to a pond and I was sleeping on the floor in front of the door. My friend thought that was funny. I am serious. I am torn because I love my little girl so much and yet I can't have her leave my side to get anything done. I thought she was sleeping and here she ran after dad and was on her way back and I had no clue. Her door was still shut and I had all the doors locked. She unlocked one and got out without me knowing. She did pick me flowers though.
I am at my wits end. Tears can't come down anymore. I have so much to do at my house- cleaning, chickens, cattle, other children... that I can't have her by my side 24/7, but I also want her to be safe.
The straw that broke the camel was when I thought she was sitting at the table eating pudding. I turned around for 2 min to help Rem with his foot. Here she comes out of the bathroom where she climbed up and got the medicine that helps calm cattle when you are showing them. She brought me the bottle and had some on her face next to her mouth. I WENT NUTS!!!!!! So I called Greg, then 911 and they got me to Poison control. I told her what was going on and I was hysterical. The lady was perfect and calmed me down. I was told to get her a drink and then watch her. She was a bit fussy after her milk so I took her for a ride. Rem and Chas stayed inside cleaning eggs while they didn't know that Dad was outside working. We tell them that they are home alone to see how they handle things to get them ready in a few years. They did a great job! I can trust them and they never did such things as Hope.
So here is what I have thought of doing, but I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!
1) get bells and put them on her shoes, back of her clothes so she can't get to them.....
2) put a bell at the top of each door so it will ring when she gets out
3) put her on her "leash" that I got from Walmart and have her tied to my waist 24/7 and take naps with her so I know exactly where she is
See Chief was her keeper. He would bark whenever she started to go outside or get into something. He kept her on a tight watch, but now that he is gone, I don't have that. I can't get another dog to watch her for there isn't that bond that Chief and Hope had and plus I can't get a dog that I have to train and still keep an eye on Hope. So please I am begging for help. I love my daughter and I want to see her go to college, get married... but at this rate I am scared to think of what could happen (that is why I am up at 12:48am). Any real help would be great.
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